I’m a terrible one for the Sunday night blues. I usually feel sad and homesick and anxious … even if I have nothing to dread the following day (which I normally don’t!); even if I have something to look forward to (which I often do!). I don’t know; it’s something that feels hardwired into my brain since, oh about fifth grade. Anyway, sometimes it helps me to look back over the preceding week and remember all the great, fun, sweet, and/or productive moments that happened in life since last week’s bout of Sunday night blues. There are always so many of those full-of-grace moments, and this past week there were all of the above and lots that I didn’t get snapshots of, like simply sitting in the car with my sister Hillary, talking and watching the snow fall while we waited to pick up Isabella from ballet. Or enjoying a coffee at my friend Debora’s house, while our girls played. Or having several great work calls with my latest partner in crime, as we dig into some exciting projects; or starting off my Friday night with a Google Hangout with two of my west coast girlfriends, laughing ourselves silly at how funny we all looked; or cooking and drinking wine with some of our closest friends on Saturday night.
Of course there were crummy, tiring, discouraging moments too. I’m so weary of the cold, and I miss my mom terribly, and worry about her out there in California, so far from us and with such a burden of loss and grief to deal with, and I’ve been missing our lost girl so so much, my sweet sister Carolyn, dead now for over a year. Impossible. I had one of those days this past week where I just had to get under the covers in the middle of the afernoon and let the grief weigh me down for a while, close my eyes and just give in to the lump in my throat — haven’t had one of those in a couple of months now.
Then there were the more mundane blah and unpleasant moments: jeans that suddenly feel uncomfortably snug, disappointment in myself for missing a deadline I really could have made, that goshdarn endless pile of laundry…
But that’s what it’s all about, right? The crazy game of hokey pokey we call life? So much wonderfulness, so much fun, despite our failings and disappointments and heartbreaks.
So, happy Sunday night, friends. Here’s to a week ahead with many fun, unexpected moments of grace and sunshine.